my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
