I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
what day is it and did you see me today?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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