so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
where are my eyebrows?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
