i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
