porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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