I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I understand Curling. That high.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
