Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
