Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize