The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
