I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize