pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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