Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
