wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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