It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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