it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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