I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
