I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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