I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You pole danced in your parka.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize