Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
