My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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