I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
