shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
