I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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