Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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