my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
