Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dick very happy bro
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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