Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
