girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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