Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
