My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
