You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
