I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
