make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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