I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
