just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Are my feet made of real feet?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize