is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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