She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
