I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
someone threw a dead crab at me
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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