my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize