take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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