I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
