Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
