My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
