this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
