Hey man sorry I got all grabby
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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