and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
