mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
