who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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