at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize