In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
