im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
