Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
