We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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