stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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