If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
