it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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