david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
