yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize