hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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