so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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